Category: Trail Reports

Working at the Lodge today. Yesterday was Honey Do list at Mom’s house, good thing I had the grandkid with. Hopefully he is around when I get Becker’s Honey Do List.

We got over 2″ of rain it looks like from last night until this morning. We needed it though. Today is windy and ugly outside.

Dougie was working at the fish plant in Newfoundland when he accidentally
cut off all ten of his fingers.

He went to the emergency room in St. John’s and when he got there the
doctor looked at Dougie and said “Let’s have da fingers and I’ll see what
I can do”

Dougie said, “I haven’t got da fingers.”

“What do you mean, you haven’t got da fingers?” shrieked the doctor.
“Lord t’undrin Jaysis it’s 2018! We’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.

I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn’t you bring da fingers?”

(Are you ready for this?)

Dougie says… “Jes’’ how da fock was I suppose to pick dem up??”

Looks like we are in for some rain, 3-5 inches according to TV 6 over the next few days. That will make a lot of the leaves come off the trees. I’ll be at Sully’s today trying to do some work. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.

A Sweet Marriage Tale

A newlywed couple had

only been married for two weeks.  The husband, although very much in

love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old

buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right

back.”

“Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m

going to the bar, pretty face.  I’m going to have a beer.”

The

wife said, “You want a beer, my love?”  She opened the door to the

refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12

different countries.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only

thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, lolly pop… but at the bar…

you know… they have frozen glasses.”

He didn’t get to finish the

sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass,

puppy face?”  She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that

she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit

pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres

that are really delicious.  I won’t be long.  I’ll be right

back.  I promise.  OK?”

You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi

pooh?”  She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors

d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips,

etc.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know… there’s swearing,

dirty words and all that.”

“You want dirty words, Dickhead?  Drink

your fucking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks

because you are married now, and you aren’t fucking going anywhere!  Got

it, asshole?”

And they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn’t that

a sweet story !!!

Yep it is Taco ………shit it is Wednesday. I missed Tuesday altogether. Felt like crap yesterday, coughing and spitting up, uh never mind, I just slept the day away. Going to Ironwood with Mom today, eye doctor, dentist and shopping I suppose.

Da Bears
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.  The only thing missing was a good quarterback.  He scouted and scouted but couldn’t find a quarterback who could give the Bears a shot at a Super Bowl win.  Then one night while watching the news he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank  In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm.  He threw a hand grenade straight into a 10th story window 50 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand grenade 75 yards, right into a chimney.   KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car.    BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself.  “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.  And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The young man is hailed as a great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you”, the old woman says.  “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mom,” the young man pleads.  “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world.  I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No, let me tell you!” his mother retorts.  “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”  The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says……..”I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

I love looking at Face Book and seeing all the excuses why the Packers didn’t win. They didn’t play well, that is why they did not win.

Gogebic Lodge was fairly busy, had a fun night with a lot of nice people. Just looked at my schedule and I don’t work until next Sunday at the Lodge. Nice having a little time off. I am headed to Sully’s to work on the building.

Working the Gogebic Lodge today, noon till closing time.  Last night was slow at Dutches, even the Lodge was closed when I went by at 11:45 last night. What the hell everyone go on the wagon or what? Julie came down last night and brought that Dave guy to heckle me. It is always a pleasure to see Julie, even if that Dave guys has to tag along.

Beautiful weather in the UP again today, but it looks like we are down in the 60’s for Highs starting tomorrow. That’s OK by me though bring on Fall because we all know what comes next Braaaaaaaaaapppp.

A man comes home after a terrible day of golf, his worst round ever.

He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer. It’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him “You’ve been out golfing all day! Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started… ”

I work tonight in Marenisco, 4 till close. And then agin tomorrow at the Lodge Noon till close. Damn 2 days in a row, I’m gonna need a vacation afterwards. I had a quiet night with the grandkid last night.

I spent the night with Da Fish last night (aka Dave Fisher). Every time I run into him at a bar I feel Like shit the next day. He somehow keeps filling up the one bear I have and I never see him do it. So beware of Da Fish, he is very sneaky.

It was a beautiful day yesterday and it looks like we are in for another one today. I’m going down to Gogebic Lodge  to do some work on their internet, Becker is down there cleaning.

AFTER  BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL  LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE  DAY  AND SAID, “Darling, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A CHEAP  CAR,  SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK  AND WHITE TV, BUT I GOT  TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD  GIRL.  NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $45,000.00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I’M SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN.  IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU’RE NOT HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.” MY WIFE IS A VERY REASONABLE WOMAN.  SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE  TV.

Thursday is Lodge Day for me this week. Noon till close. Come see me, I’ll be the big hairy one knocking shit over behind the bar.

A joke for today:

An avid golfer was involved in a terrible car crash and was rushed to the hospital. Just before he was put under, the surgeon popped in to see him.

“I have some good news and some bad news,” says the surgeon. “The bad news is that I have to remove your right arm!”

“Oh God no!” cries the man. “My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”

“The good news is…   …   I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and so I’ll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant.”

“Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.”

The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.

“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.

“Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”

“That’s wonderful,” said the surgeon.

“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”

“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a success. Are you having any side effects?”

“Well, just two”, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an erection I get a headache.”

9/11 did not even dawn on me yesterday morning as I hurried to write something before starting my day. I did not forget, just didn’t realize the significance of the date. When I did realize it was 9/11, I remembered the sinking feeling in my stomach as I watched live video at work on my computer with coworkers behind my desk.  The way America came together after that tragedy was overwhelming. What a great Country we once had. What the hell has happened to us?

The people in Washington are not going to wake up and work together to better our country, only we as voters can change what is going on. We need to quit with this left and right bullshit and do what is best for our country. We did not hear about Democrats and Republicans in the aftermath. All we hear about was the heroism  of people helping people. We did do what was right after 9/11, why can’t we do it now?

I had a joke for today but when I proof read my post I did not fell in a joking mood.