Category: Trail Reports

Bill sent me the email below, I talked to another person that said he is getting a “server unavailable” message sometimes. If you see this when trying to access tomstrailreport.com please send an email to tomstrailreport@gmail.com to let me know please. The rest of Bill’s email was a nice walk down memory lane, Thanks Bill.

“Hi Tom.  I religiously look at your TomsTrailReport website daily.  Usually I look early in the morning and I have no trouble accessing the website.

However If I try to open your website in the afternoon and evening hours I can not access it.  On MSN I get a message the website can not be opened.  On Mozilla the message says server is unavailable and on Chrome it also say the server is unavailable.

I enjoy looking at your website and look forward to enjoying my 40th year of snowmobiling this season.   Many moons ago, circa 1981, 4 of us rode from Hazelhurst, WI to Copper Harbor and back.  We parked at Rydans residential property who at the time owned the Cat Dealer in Hazelhurst.  The sleds were a Cat Tiger 6000, my 440 Deere Trailfire, a Deere 440 Sportfire, and an older Cat 440 Panther.  Rough ride and 100 miles per day was an accomplishment, particularly when there were no trail markers in Michigan.  All of the sleds were premix sleds and it seemed like we towed the Tiger more than it ran because it had a small fuel tank and a big appetite. However the Tiger would show 106 mph on the speedometer on the lake vs. the Trailfire’s 85.

Our first planned stop was in Bergland at the Lake Gogebic Motel but the older lady running the place had rented our room.  It was 10 at nite on Saturday.  We were able to find a room at the old hotel at the end of town – I believe you own the building now.  At that time the lower level was a rompin’, stompin’ bar with a band that ran till 3 AM.  Upstairs it was a spooky stay.  Romex wire was strung down the inside of hall and the rooms had the old steel headboard frames and pitchers and bowls for wash up- just like in the old days.  I think the only bathroom was downstairs in the bar.  I slept on top of the bed in my clothes, but was glad to have a warm place to sleep after driving all night the night before, 12 hours of hard drinking, rough ride on 4″ suspension travel sleds and lost most of the time.

Next day we only made it to Mass and partied with Art in the local bar.  Art was a local character that had an airplane and played the guitar and liked to drink.  On the third day we made it to Copper Harbor via Gay and stayed at the King Copper Motel.  the snow was so deep that it completely covered the patio doors.  You just opened the door and stuck your bottle in the snow bank to keep it cold. Ate at a little German restaurant that had it’s own trail down from Brockway mountain.

Ahh, such were the days of early snowmobiling.  Everyone had one or more flasks of spirits (mixed 50-50 with vodka to prevent freezing) or we had Mad Dog 20 20 which was 20% alcohol and wouldn’t freeze.  Also youth was on our side!

Thanks again for the Trail Reports and the memories.  Bill P.”

Packer Fans are happy today, Bears fans not so much. It wasn’t so much of a Packer win, more of a Bears loss. They could have put the game away a few times. I had to work last night, so I broke my football boycott I guess.

Beautiful weather in the UP, even though temps are in the 70’s or more during the day there is no humidity. Fall in the UP, you just can’t beat it.

 A True Hounds Golfer…

Saul Wallerstein was at the country club for his

weekly round of golf. He began his round with
an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.
On the third hole he had just scored his first ever
hole-in-one when his cell phone rang… It
was a doctor notifying him that his wife had
just been in a accident and was in critical
condition and in ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was
and that he’d be there as soon as possible. As he hung up
he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his
best ever round of golf.

He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading
to the hospital. He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing
his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club
record by five strokes and beating his previous best
game by more than 10. He was jubilant….

Then he remembered his wife. Feeling guilty he dashed to
the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked
about his wife’s condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, “You went ahead
and finished your round of golf didn’t you! I hope you’re
proud of yourself!”
“While you were out for the past four hours enjoying
yourself at the country club your wife has been
languishing in the ICU! It’s just as well you went ahead
and finished that round because it will be more than likely
your last! For the rest of her life she will require round the
clock care and you will be her care giver! She will need IV’s;
you will have to change her colostomy bag every 3 hours;
she will have to be spoon fed 3 times a day and don’t forget
the hygiene care.”

The man broke down and sobbed.
The doctor chuckled and said,
“I’m just fucking with you.
She’s dead.
What’d you shoot?”

Leaves are starting to change as temps begin to drop in the UP. If it wasn’t for snowmobiling Fall would be my favorite time of year. No bugs, no sweating and beautiful colors all around.  If you have never seen the fall colors in the UP you are missing out. Click here for more info.

At the Doctors office getting my Physical I asked the Doctor,

“Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life?

He replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.”

I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.”

He replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”

Working at Dutches in Marenisco tonight and Gogebic Lodge Sunday. Just living the dream in the UP. Gogebic Lodge’s web cam is up and running, we might try streaming if their ban width can handle it. Other than that things are going good up here, Becker is working at Gogebic Lodge too now. So Becker, Misty and me are back together again, all we are missing is Kristie.

The “M” Word….by comedian Jeff Foxworthy

Have you ever wondered why it’s OK to make jokes about Catholics, 
Jews, Christians, the Pope, the Irish, the Italians, the Polish, the 
Hungarians, the Chinese, the French (including French Canadians), the elderly, bad 
golfers, men/women, blacks/whites, etc, but its insensitive to make 
jokes about the Muslims? 

Well, it’s time to level the playing field and be politically 
incorrect, by including our friends, the Muslims, on this grandiose 
list. 

So Jeff Foxworthy did his part to include the Muslims on his list … 

1. If you grow and refine heroin for a living, but morally object to 
the use of liquor, You may be a Muslim. 

2. If you own a $3,000 machine gun and a $5,000 rocket launcher, but 
can’t afford shoes, You may be a Muslim. 

3. If you have more wives than teeth, You may be a Muslim. 

4. If you wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon to be 
unclean, You may be a Muslim. 

5. If you think vests come in two styles, Bullet-proof and suicide, 
You may be a Muslim. 

6. If you can’t think of anyone that you haven’t declared jihad 
against, You may be a Muslim. 

7. If you consider television dangerous, but routinely carry 
explosives in your clothing, You may be a Muslim. 

8. If you were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses, other 
than setting off roadside bombs, You may be a Muslim. 

9. If you have nothing against women and think every man should own at 
least four, then you, too, may be a Muslim. 

10. If you find this offensive and do not forward it, you are part of 
the problem here in America….…, but if you delete this, you are most 
likely a Muslim. 

HISTORICAL FACT
Who says building a border wall won’t work?  The Chinese built one over
2,000 years ago and they still don’t have any Mexicans.

Finally got it going

For those of you not up here, M-28 has ben closed between Merriweather and Wakefield for bridge repairs all summer.  Now they are facing another delay because of contract or labor disputes. So hey MDOT, let’s just turn it into a permeate snowmobile/ATV trail.

Working at Gogebic Lodge today and Dutches on Friday.  Becker and I were both under the weather yesterday,  she is going to try and make it in to work today.

A cool Budweiser Commercial 

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Claddaghduff, Ireland man answered his door to find a grim-faced Constable & one waiting in the front yard.

“We’re sorry, Mr. O’ Flynn, but we have some information about your dear wife, Maureen” said one of the officers.

“Tell me! Did you find her?” Michael Patrick O’Flynn asked.

The constables looked at each other and one said, “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news. Which would you like to hear first?”

Fearing the worst, Mr. O’ Flynn said, “Give me the bad news first.”

The constable said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but early this morning we found your poor wife’s body in the bay.”

“Lord sufferin’ Jesus and Holy Mother of God!” exclaimed O’ Flynn. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What could possibly be the good news?”

The constable continued, “When we pulled the late, departed poor Maureen up, she had 12 of the best-looking Atlantic lobsters that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven’t seen lobsters like that since the 1960’s, and we feel you are entitled to a share in the catch.”

Stunned, Mr. O’ Flynn demanded, “Glory be to God, if that’s the good news, then what’s the really great news?”

The constable replied, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”

* How to Prepare for Snowmobiling in the 2018-2019 season **
1. Go to your local snowmobile dealer, smile and give the first guy you see $200. This will get you used to spending money there on a regular basis.
2. Fill a 45-gallon barrel with sand. Lower it into a hole. Now lift it out. If you can, add water to the sand and try it again. Do this 5 times per day. This will get your back in shape for lifting your sled out of the deep snow.
3. Tie a rope to a heavy-duty spring. Pull the rope repeatedly with each arm until the pain in your shoulders meets somewhere in middle your back. This will get you in shape for starting your bud’s sled, which he conveniently forgot was out of gas. It’s best to do this exercise while someone is spraying starting fluid into your nose and eyes also.
4. Drink four ounces of cod liver oil mixed with a strong laxative. Dress with long underwear, wool pants, snowmobile bibs, insulated boots and heavy coat. Walk far into the woods without any paper products and wait for a personal emergency. This get you prepare for the Beer chits that come out of nowhere, and at the wrong time.
5. Place your hands in a bucket of ice water for 20 minutes. Put the carburetor from your lawn mower in the bottom of your deep freeze. Now climb in the deep freeze, shut the lid and overhaul it while holding a pen light in your mouth. This gets you prepared to work on your sled in the freezing cold and black of night. Advanced riders do this with a leatherman tool.
6. Dress up in your new $350 snowmobile bibs. Pour 2 stroke oil down the right leg, gasoline down the other and Peppermint Schnapps and Beer all over the front. Fill your boots with ice cubes and ask your wife or girlfriend to dance. This will prepare her for the stops at the local bars during a ride.
7. Put on a Balaclava and a full-face helmet. Attempt to drink hot chocolate through the opening. Advanced riders attempt this while riding a lawn tractor over in the nearest farmers’ plowed field.
8. Find a place where you can pay $3.50 a litre for regular gas; $19.99 per litre of oil; $16 for a Hamburger and frozen French Fries; $3 for a coke and $160 to sleep in a cold cabin on a bed with springs sticking through the mattress. Stay for two nights, minimum. This will prepare you on the high cost of your future winter trips.
9. Practice explaining to your banker why you need another loan for a $70,000 truck to pull the four $20,000 sleds, on your
$15,000 trailer that you still owe $50,000 on.
* Now, you are 50% ready, and somewhat conditioned to head for the trails and ride your sled.

I don’t have a lot to say today, kind of a nice boring day, but going through my emails to find a joke, I can across Tom Miller. Not that Tom is a joke, he too has a very nice wife, Holly, kind of like Dave who has a nice wife, Julie.  Tom Miller share a nice email and this is what it said:

I grew up with practical parents. A mother, God love her, who washed aluminum foil after she cooked in it, then reused it. She was the original recycle queen before they had a name for it. A father who was happier getting old shoes fixed than buying new ones..    

 

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away.

 

I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.    

 

It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there’d always be more.    

 

But then my mother died, and on that clear summer’s night, in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t any more.    

 

Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away…never to return.. So… While we have it….. it’s best we love it… And care for it… And fix it when it’s broken……… And heal it when it’s sick.    

 

This is true. For marriage……. And old cars….. And children with bad report cards….. And dogs with bad hips….. And aging parents….. And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.

 

There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special…….. And so, we keep them close!    

 

I received this from someone who thinks I am a ‘keeper’, so I’ve sent it to the people I think of in the same way… Now it’s your turn to send this to those people that are “keepers” in your life. Good friends are like stars….. You don’t always see them, but you know they are always there. Keep them close!

Holy crap I got my ass kicked working the last few days, guess I’m just getting old. Busy at Dutches Saturday and yesterday at Gogebic Lodge. Oh then Dave comes in. Did I ever tell you how nice his wife Julie is? Julie’s friends were very nice too.

We had a rainy day yesterday but after it cleared up it sure turned into a beautiful day. I was pumping gas until dark yesterday. Becker even had to pitch in and do dishes for us last night, Thanks Honey.