Author: admin

WOW where did the week go. I spent a little time working at Sullys but Last night I got called in to work at Da lodge.  Some of my Iowa buds, Kim, Dale and Gene came in and then Chub and Cindy came down. Great seeing them at Da Lodge, just like old times. I even stayed open til 2:30. Tonight I am working in Marenisco at Dutches Bar.

In a retirement community in Sun City, Arizona last week there was a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: “I miss Chicago.” So someone broke the windows, stole the radio, shot out all four tires, added an Obama Bumper Sticker, and left a note that read: “Hope this helps!” 

If you haven’t been to Gogebic Lodge on Tuesday I highly recommend the Chimichanga. I think it is time to get my Mexican fix.  A few Busch Lights, tequila and a Chimmy from Da Lodge.

Becker and I did not stay bored long yesterday, ran into Brian Summerville and Tommy Love. Great guys, up for bear season.

Some of you may wonder why I take too long to post or skip a day or two between posts. Well sometimes I just do not know what the hell to say. People that know me personally probably find that hard to believe because I never shut up. Or at least that is what Becker tells me. But what the hell does she know.  LOL. At any rate things are boring up here right now. Tom Miller is back in Missouri so it is no fun making fun at him. Da Fish ain’t here to I have no one to get me all jacked up. Princess is back in Iowa with all my Iowa friends. The Mantieno  Boys are hard at work saving money for their UP trip this winter.  Mr M, I see Steph more than I see you any more, but that is not all that bad. I’m all alone up here right now. Just me and Lenny Blades burning the midnight oil at Da Lodge solving all the worlds problems. God I love the UP, wish you were all here all the time.

I read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you love someone? That’s common sense leaving your body. My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that. I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Money talks … but all mine ever says is good-bye. You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?” I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.” Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks! The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos. Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch! The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Earnest T Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.

OK so I miss placed the power cord for my laptop. Becker told me to look where I used it last. If I remembered where I used it last it wouldn’t be lost would it?

        Getting older is…

1.  My goal for 2018 was to lose just 10 pounds … only 15  to go. 2.  Ate salad for dinner …mostly croutons and tomatoes … really just one big, round crouton covered with      tomato sauce …   and cheese… Okay, FINE, it  was a pizza… I ate a pizza! 3.  How to prepare Tofu in two easy steps:      1.  Throw it in the trash.      2.  Grill some meat. 4.  I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web. 5.  I don’t mean to brag but… I finished my 14-days of diet food in 3 hours and  20 minutes. 6.  A recent  study has found women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it. 7.  Kids today don’t know how easy they have it… when I was young, I had to walk through 9 feet of shag carpet to change the TV channel. 8.   Senility has been a smooth transition for me. 9.   Remember back when we were kids, and every time it was below zero outside, they closed school?  Me neither. 10.  I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented……I forgot where I was going with this. 11.  I love being over 50; I learn something new every day… and forget 5 others. 12.  A thief broke into my house last night, and started searching for money.  I got up, and searched with him. 13.  My dentist told me I need a Crown… I said, “You bet,  pour mine over the rocks.” 14.  I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead, and call it a day. PS:  Sunday, March 13, 2016 was Daylight Savings Time… hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds! “Just remember, once you’re over the hill, you begin to pick up speed.”

Working at the Lodge today. Yesterday was Honey Do list at Mom’s house, good thing I had the grandkid with. Hopefully he is around when I get Becker’s Honey Do List.

We got over 2″ of rain it looks like from last night until this morning. We needed it though. Today is windy and ugly outside.

Dougie was working at the fish plant in Newfoundland when he accidentally
cut off all ten of his fingers.

He went to the emergency room in St. John’s and when he got there the
doctor looked at Dougie and said “Let’s have da fingers and I’ll see what
I can do”

Dougie said, “I haven’t got da fingers.”

“What do you mean, you haven’t got da fingers?” shrieked the doctor.
“Lord t’undrin Jaysis it’s 2018! We’s got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques.

I could have put dem back on and made you like new! Why didn’t you bring da fingers?”

(Are you ready for this?)

Dougie says… “Jes’’ how da fock was I suppose to pick dem up??”

Looks like we are in for some rain, 3-5 inches according to TV 6 over the next few days. That will make a lot of the leaves come off the trees. I’ll be at Sully’s today trying to do some work. Wish me luck, I’m going to need it.

A Sweet Marriage Tale

A newlywed couple had

only been married for two weeks.  The husband, although very much in

love, couldn’t wait to go out on the town and party with his old

buddies.

So, he said to his new wife, “Honey, I’ll be right

back.”

“Where are you going, coochy cooh?” asked the wife.

“I’m

going to the bar, pretty face.  I’m going to have a beer.”

The

wife said, “You want a beer, my love?”  She opened the door to the

refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12

different countries.

The husband didn’t know what to do, and the only

thing that he could think of saying was, “Yes, lolly pop… but at the bar…

you know… they have frozen glasses.”

He didn’t get to finish the

sentence because the wife interrupted him by saying, “You want a frozen glass,

puppy face?”  She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that

she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit

pale, said, “Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d’oeuvres

that are really delicious.  I won’t be long.  I’ll be right

back.  I promise.  OK?”

You want hors d’oeuvres, poochi

pooh?”  She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors

d’oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips,

etc.

“But my sweet honey… at the bar… you know… there’s swearing,

dirty words and all that.”

“You want dirty words, Dickhead?  Drink

your fucking beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks

because you are married now, and you aren’t fucking going anywhere!  Got

it, asshole?”

And they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn’t that

a sweet story !!!

Yep it is Taco ………shit it is Wednesday. I missed Tuesday altogether. Felt like crap yesterday, coughing and spitting up, uh never mind, I just slept the day away. Going to Ironwood with Mom today, eye doctor, dentist and shopping I suppose.

Da Bears
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears.  The only thing missing was a good quarterback.  He scouted and scouted but couldn’t find a quarterback who could give the Bears a shot at a Super Bowl win.  Then one night while watching the news he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank  In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm.  He threw a hand grenade straight into a 10th story window 50 yards away.

KABOOM!

He threw another hand grenade 75 yards, right into a chimney.   KA-BLOOEY!

Then he threw another at a passing car.    BULLS-EYE!

“I’ve got to get this guy!” the coach said to himself.  “He has the perfect arm!”

So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football.  And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl. The young man is hailed as a great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.

“Mom,” he says into the phone, “I just won the Super Bowl!”

“I don’t want to talk to you”, the old woman says.  “You are not my son!”

“I don’t think you understand, Mom,” the young man pleads.  “I’ve won the greatest sporting event in the world.  I’m here among thousands of my adoring fans.”

“No, let me tell you!” his mother retorts.  “At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us.  The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn’t get raped!”  The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says……..”I’ll never forgive you for making us move to Chicago!”

I love looking at Face Book and seeing all the excuses why the Packers didn’t win. They didn’t play well, that is why they did not win.

Gogebic Lodge was fairly busy, had a fun night with a lot of nice people. Just looked at my schedule and I don’t work until next Sunday at the Lodge. Nice having a little time off. I am headed to Sully’s to work on the building.

Working the Gogebic Lodge today, noon till closing time.  Last night was slow at Dutches, even the Lodge was closed when I went by at 11:45 last night. What the hell everyone go on the wagon or what? Julie came down last night and brought that Dave guy to heckle me. It is always a pleasure to see Julie, even if that Dave guys has to tag along.

Beautiful weather in the UP again today, but it looks like we are down in the 60’s for Highs starting tomorrow. That’s OK by me though bring on Fall because we all know what comes next Braaaaaaaaaapppp.

A man comes home after a terrible day of golf, his worst round ever.

He plops down on the couch in front of the television, and tells his wife, “Get me a beer before it starts.”

The wife sighs and gets him a beer. Fifteen minutes later, he says, “Get me another beer before it starts.”

She looks cross, but fetches another beer and slams it down next to him. He finishes that beer and a few minutes later says, “Quick, get me another beer. It’s going to start any minute.”

The wife is furious. She yells at him “You’ve been out golfing all day! Is that all you’re going to do tonight? Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? You’re nothing but a lazy, drunken, fat slob, and furthermore . . .”

The man sighs and says, “It’s started… ”