For my future ex-wife and future ex-father in-law who have nothing better to do than rag on me for not posting, here you go…..
I went to church in Chicago last week while visiting friends
When I heard Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson were guest preachers at a nearby church, I decided to go there and check them out in person.

As soon as I sat down, Reverend Sharpton came over to me. I don’t know why, maybe it was because I was the only white person in the church.
He laid his hands on my shoulder and said: “By the will of Jesus the Lord Almighty, and the will of God, you will walk today.”
I told him I was not paralyzed.

Then Jesse Jackson came by and said: “By the Grace of God, and his Son Jesús, the Lord Almighty, you will walk today.”
Again, I said that there is nothing wrong with me.

After the sermon I stepped outside and lo and behold they were right….
My car was gone