Trail Report

Went for a walk with my new girlfriend and we saw dogs mating.

She said: “How does the male know when the female is ready for sex?”

I replied: “He can smell she is ready . That’s how nature works.”

We then walked past a sheep field and the ram was mating the ewe.

Again my girlfriend asked: “How does the ram knew when the ewe is ready for sex?”

I replied: “It’s nature. He can smell she is ready.”

We then went past a cow-field and the bull was mating with the cow.

My girlfriend said: “This is odd. They are really going at it. Surely the bull can’t smell when she is ready?”

I said: “Oh, yes; it’s nature . All animals can smell when the female is ready for sex.”

Anyway, after the walk, I dropped her home and kissed her goodbye.

She said: “Take care and get yourself checked out for Covid-19.

Surprised, “Why do you say that?” I asked her.

She replied: “You seem to have lost your sense of smell.”

Long time friends Sylvia & Wanda meet up in Heaven!!
SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How’d you die?…
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn’t so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn’t look in the freezer — we’d both still be alive.

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest.
The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.
He opened his newspaper and began reading.
After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, ‘Say Father, what causes arthritis?’
The priest replies, ‘My Son, it’s caused by loose living, being with cheap wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath!’
The drunk muttered in response, ‘Well, I’ll be damned.’ Then returned to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologised.
‘I’m very sorry. I didn’t mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?’
The drunk answered, ‘I don’t have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does’!
MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

I forgot to post a picture of my Favorite German. Well second favorite, his wife is my favorite but I don’t know how to spell her name. This was Sunday at Gogebic Lodge. Best seat in the house, free drinks and food until the score changes.

We got a little refresh last night to keep things white out there.  I haven’t been in the bar because of my fricken back all week so I haven’t talked to any riders. But my predictions are, ride early it is going to be a busy weekend. Presidents weekend is always busy.

No new snow the last few days but it is in the forecast for the weekend. Expect lots of sleds and busy bars, restraints and gas stations. Presidents Weekend is the last hoorah of the season. Traffic will slow down after this, don’t forget to come visit in March for some of the best riding of the year.

China claims that corona-virus came from a stupid old bat, but Nancy Pelosi denied having been involved.

“Payday” candy bar is changing its name because it’s offensive to those who don’t work.

If the current power grid can’t handle a night of 20 degrees temperatures without rolling blackouts,
how are we going to plug 100 million electric cars up at night?

Are there any countries that tax their citizens and send some of it to Americans?

Imagine, if you will, a world where every tweet and meme must be fact checked, with one exception…. a ballot.

How to stop drunk drivers from killing sober drivers? Ban sober drivers from driving. That’s exactly how gun control works.

Can we still order black coffee?

Are brownies being taken off the shelf?

Is White Castle changing its name?

I’m sure Cracker Barrel is screwed.

Can we still play Chinese checkers?

Is that season still called Indian summer?

No more Italian sausages?

How far do you want to go with this foolishness?